Both of the girls are playing in the Monster Bash tournament this weekend in Shawnee. Gentry played in it last year and loved it aside from the fact that her brilliant coach at the time made them all dress like Disney princesses. Not the ideal costume if you are trying to sike your opponent out. This year her team has chosen to be the Hummer Hippies and Syd’s team is going to be some sort of bird zombies.  This is a big weekend for Sydie because it’s her first tournament as a Phenix. 

I’m very pleased with the coaches the girls have right now. Both are very aggressive but yet genuinely seem to care about the players as individuals. Syd’s coach is a teacher and the first night of practice she handed out composition notebooks then assigned softball related homework each week. Thank goodness she has since backed off on that because the extra assignments were ticking Syd off royally.  

It’s not unusual for Gentry’s coach to set the girls up to scrimmage an older, more experienced team in order to push them to excel. Last night the girls played the KU softball club team. This team was comprised mostly of KU students who may or may not be on the KU softball team but still play competitive ball. Talk about intimidating. When we were walking up to the fields I said, “Whoa! Good thing you’re not playing those girls. They’re huge! What?? Ooopsy, turns out you ARE playing them. Ew. Well,… I’ll be over here. Good luck Sis!” (I do what I can).

Same Song, Different Morning

Every morning I drop Sydney off at the elementary school and then zip over and drop Gentry at the junior high. Every morning as I enter West's parking lot I cuss myself for not yet inventing rubber bumpers for the front of my car. If  I could 'bump' all the idiots who can't follow directions when dropping off their children, I know my school zone road rage would be cured. Hallelujah! Seriously people, how freaking hard is it to stay in the lane that is CLEARLY marked "Drop Off Lane" so as not to block the flow of traffic? For some it seems to be pretty challenging and I applaud them for just being able to find the door to leave the house every morning.

Good for you dumbass'!

One morning I was of course running close to being late for work when this woman had the audacity to park parallel to the car in front of me (who was in the drop off lane behind a bus) so that neither of us could pull ahead. She had single-handedly blocked two lanes of traffic and was in no hurry to move along. The truck in front of me had to honk at her TWICE and still she sat there. To further infuriate us, she honestly seemed to be doing it on purpose. Smiling and waving even! If the entire 8th grade class hadn't been standing outside the building I would have gotten out of my car and snatched her bald-headed! I'm pretty sure the dude in front of me would have gladly helped. Every morning it's the same scenario and since I know it's coming, I'm trying to replace my anger with sweet sarcasm.

"Ooooh dear Genny, another parent who can't read. I'm should donate a copy of Hooked on Phonics to the PTA so they can help all these poor illiterate parents."

"See me sweetheart? This is called the Drop.Off.Lane. Maybe you could try it sometime, ooookay?"

 Gentry is not phased by me and could honestly care less. She's just glad I'm not making her kiss me before she gets out of the car.

There Wasn't Even A Prayer

We attended an unusually casual wedding this weekend. If I had been wearing a beer slogan-ed t-shirt and jeans no one would have looked at me twice. But noooo, I had to go get all "fancy" and wear dress pants with heels, FFS. (That was sarcasm in case you wondered). The wedding was held at the couple's farm over-looking lake Perry. It was actually a beautiful setting once you got past the llama pen and all their ummm.., deposits. The party had apparently started the night before and a few of the guests were camping on the property. The first keg of beer was tapped around 2:00 pm and the wedding started at 4:00. I can honestly say this was the first wedding I've ever been to where you were allowed to drink during the ceremony.  Just when I think I've witnessed the cherry of redneckism.. it just keeps getting better. The entire service maybe lasted 7 minutes and went something like this;
"Do you?"
"Yep."
"Do you?"
"Uh huh."
"Okey dokey then. Kiss your bride and let's eat some pig!"

My Suggestion, Lot's of Calcium.

Finding a new hairdresser is hard enough but having to find one to suit a 13 year old is nearly impossible. We didn’t realize how good we had it in Clay. (We miss you Dani)! Gen has been planning this weekend for months ever since her dad told her he would be going to Clay for Piotique. She would finally have a chance to see her old friends and so she desperately wanted her hair cut. I got all three of us appointments at a new place near our house because we have not had good luck with the other couple of places we have tried. Gen only wanted her hair trimmed, and her bangs layered but left long. She even showed the lady a picture on her iPod which she simply glanced at before putting Gen in a chair. I don’t know if this woman was high, mentally challenged, or blind but she basically did the opposite of what Gen told her she wanted. Hell, maybe she was the freaking janitor! That would certainly explain her skill level because it looked horr-i-ble!

Syd’s hair turned out better however she was pissed because 1. Again, the woman didn’t cut it the way she wanted and 2. It didn’t look any different. I told her to consider herself lucky. 

When my turn came I said, “Uhhh… not only no but HELL NO!” and we got outta there. That’s when the tears started…, and kept going…., and going…., and continued until bedtime. Gentry ate dinner in her room, curled up under her blankets with a roll of toilet paper; her pretty little peepers sad and red. I knew exactly how she felt and I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say to make it better.  Most of us women have a long history of bad haircuts, perms, and coloring disasters.  Thank goodness the shit grows out! 

The next morning she discovered she could still pin it back so she was better, happy even and I sighed with relief. So even though they didn't get the results they were hoping for, both girls are off to reconnect with old buddies and I am missing them already. *sigh*  

More Like Grizzly, Less Like Teddy

Moms are a lot like bears; if you mess with their cubs expect to be attacked. Okay, maybe “attack” is a little strong but you can bet your ass that mama bears will do whatever they need to do to protect their cubs. This mama bear was tired of seeing my Sydie cub coming home from school frustrated because a couple of little boys in her class were bothering her. This was fast becoming an everyday occurrence so I felt the need to nip it in the bud.  Syd has always struggled in school and this year we were encouraged that with the meds maybe it would be easier for her. The school work has gotten better but these two little boys constantly insulting her was an unnecessary variable.  After a lengthy discussion at home about how all little boys are poop-heads (a term Gentry said I can’t use anymore), and how “we” must respect others, yada, yada, and so on, I contacted both her teacher and the school counselor. I informed them of the situation, what Syd would do to improve her behavior, and to see if a meeting was needed. However I made it clear the bottom line was: these boys had better stop bullying my child. That situation was quickly resolved by her teacher so we moved on to the next issue, the lunchroom. 

It seems utterly ridiculous to me that a child would dread lunchtime but mine did. Apparently the entire class got in trouble the second week of school and were assigned seats. Syd was seated right next to the two little poop-head boys with only one other girl at her table. To complicate things further, she didn’t want to talk to the little girl because she always talks about herself and brags about playing football and golf. Really Syd? Wth?  I advised her she needed was an ally and therefore she needed to make an effort with this girl. My advice to her was to listen and maybe ask a question about the sports she plays to show interest, or just reply with “that’s cool!” I told her it’s like being on a date; sometimes you could care less about what the other person is saying but out of politeness you nod your head, smile, and act like you are interested to make the other person feel good. I then told her, “Tomorrow I want you to go on a date with this little girl.” The look she shot me was clearly one of “Oh my gosh, my mom has finally lost it.” But then she smiled, laughed and she said she got it. 

We are still working through some issues but at least the poop-heads are out of the equation and I will not use that term again starting…… now.   

First of the volleyball pics

Syd had her first volleyball match on Sunday and her team, "Lime Time" took all three games.

I know she had the largest cheering section of any of the kids.

She scoring 5 points alone in the first game. In the car she announced "that was the most fun I've had since school started!" Watching volleyball still makes my wrists burn. I'm so glad she's tougher than her mom.

Meet Floppy

This was our house guest for a week, Evey or as the girls call her, Floppy. She was the squeaky little thing at the receiving end of Hazel's annoying hissing fits. Her daddy came and got her Sunday after paying her ransom of a dozen nut rolls. Yeees, another dozen! Don't judge me; I'm not the only person eating them!

The Lawrence Hummers had their second tournament this weekend. These girls have been practicing so hard twice a week for a couple months now. Their coach is polar opposite of the one we had last season, thank gawd but my attention span and exhausted mind won't allow me to elaborate on that tonight. The girls were suppose to play three games and we would have been done by 3pm if  Mother Nature had cooperated. Instead we spent the day cold and wet aside from a warm toasty picnic we had in the car while listening to a very frustrating football game. We also found other ways to entertain ourselves.

Presenting exhibit A:

Mom was passing through town and at my request left a dozen of these scrumptious little devils on my counter. There isn't another roll or doughnut in the world better than a Clay Center Tasty Pastry nut roll! The girls and I couldn't help stealing one as we ran out the door to softball practice. Great dinner, huh.

I just had to rub it in to my sister so I sent her this picture taunting her with, "Guess what I have..." Then I realized, "Oh crap! She's going to realize I'm not home and she's going to steal them!" so I offered to give her half. She better hurry though because OUR half is nearly gone and I could easily put a dent in her half.

Probably the biggest mistake Daniel ever made was making Kung Pao chicken for me. (And his tastes better than the restaurant stuff). Next to pizza, Kung Pao is one of my favorite foods and I ask him to make it all the time now. We both get to where we crave it and usually we make it once a week and have for months. The girls are at the point where they just screw up their faces and say, “Ugh, again?” A while back while eating noodles at a place on Mass St. call Zen Zero we got the bright idea to try making our Kung Pao yumminess with tofu instead of chicken.  I had never cooked with tofu so I Googled various recipes and gave it a go on Sunday. I cut it up and soaked it in the sauce then put it in the oven for 15 minutes. Sydney could not stop sneaking pieces off the cookie sheet; she loved it and I was shocked. 

So anyway, we were enjoying our new (healthier) version of amazing, mouthwatering tastiness when we discovered Hazel was missing. (No… we did NOT put her in the food). This week we are cat-sitting the girls’ dad’s cat, Evey and the two of them do not get along so we let Hazel outside to get some quiet time. She was last spotted lounging right outside on the patio in a chair but of course she wasn’t there so we started searching and calling. My neighbor was outside and he said he saw Hazel chasing a black cat and the two of them had nearly knocked him down in his yard.  We walked around the neighborhood calling for her and listening for her cry but no Hazel. We got in the truck and drove around but we only saw two red fox. I then got really worried because I know that they will kill a cat. When we showed up back at the house with no Hazel, Sydney burst into tears. All I could do was assure her Hazel would come home when she got hungry and I kept the fox sighting to myself. Needless to say she did not sleep well at all that night.   

Monday morning as I was filling my coffee mug I saw Evey at the patio door staring outside. On the other side was HAZEL! I immediately scooped her up and carried her into Sydney’s room to wake her. What a happy girl! As I left Sydney’s room I heard her scolding Hazel telling her she would no longer be allowed out in the yard.  We were all relieved she came home and didn’t end up as fox food or worse; in someone elses’ Kung Pao.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Softball, softball, volleyball, softball, bowling, do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around because it’s a new week and you have to do it all over again! I had the words, “lather, rinse, repeat” stuck in my head all week as I ran kiddos from one side of town to the other. Other than their bowling league, everything falls on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s so of course times overlap. Normally their dad would be available to tote one of them but he has night classes this semester on those nights. In addition to these weekly scheduled activities we also had to find time for a birthday party, a three day softball tournament in Overland Park, and softball camp! By Saturday night I was exhausted, slightly at my wits end, sitting at our KU tailgate wanting nothing more than to crawl into our cooler and chill caveman style; “Beer good. Me no think for rest of night. Please hit me with club. *ugh*”  

Last Sunday night we had been painting most of the day and the last thing I felt like doing was cooking dinner so I suggested we go bowl, give the girls something fun to do and then eat dinner at Wayne & Larry’s. Easy peasy.  Neither of the girls has bowled for almost a year and Gen easily threw a 180. So, to make a short story long…after a fun impromptu evening both girls joined the league Saturday.  They are on the same team in the High School group bowling with kids that are on both High School bowling teams. Gen still wants to try-out for the Free State team next year.  She has some natural ability that could benefit from some reputable coaching rather than her parents barking “Don’t drop your shoulder,” “You need to move over,” “Follow through!”  I really am trying to be better about giving unsolicited advice but it is reeeally hard because I’m just naturally bossy. When I made a point of telling them that they were not to even ask me for advice if they were going to get snippy and not try what I suggest, Gen could only mumble, “Pretty sure that was directed at me.”   

Ding, ding ding! You got it sister.

Syd has been desperately wanting to try volleyball but it isn't offered in school until next year. This Fall a league for her age group was added to the City Rec program so she and some of her friends signed up and are all on the same team. She has only had one practice so far but she is SO excited about playing that yesterday she wore her new knee pads the entire afternoon...just to clean her room and watch TV. I guess she thought she needed to protect her knees in the event she had to dive for dirty laundry.

Color Me Happy!

Months of driving around looking at different colors on houses had me convinced that I needed to paint my house some shade of brown or green and the darker the more dramatic it would be.  However, after several trips across town to Home Depot and $30 in paint samples, I absolutely hated every color I picked and my house resembled a hideous patchwork quilt.  

So Friday morning I dropped the girls at school, grabbed some coffee, and Daniel and I took off (again) for Home Depot because I STILL did not have a color picked out. Twenty minutes later I’m standing amidst a plethora of colors in my jammie sweats, close to tears, and fighting the urge to have a complete meltdown in the paint aisle.  Okay, maybe I did meltdown a little and was very close to just grabbing a color and then I saw it; GREY! One more sample and one more trip to Home Depot later and I was a happy camper beginning to transform our home. 

I still have the trim to touch up and I want to change the accent color but already the change is positive. A big, HUGE thank you to my fearless, strong painting buddy who (thankfully) is not afraid of teetering on 20 ft ladders and who also didn't give up on me when I was so close to breaking.

Tomorrow is the big day! It’s going to be exciting, maybe even life changing. Tomorrow I will do something I have wanted and planned to do since I bought the country blue mess last October. My home is considered a contemporary ranch style design and blue is not attractive. So tomorrow Daniel and I are starting our holiday weekend by tackling this chore and hopefully creating a work of art by painting the exterior. It’s been very stressful for me because I don’t want to make a color mistake. I love colors and it’s hard to decide on one.

That’s why I haven’t picked the color yet. Don’t get me wrong; I’m completed committed to the project and all the other supplies are good to go. I just haven’t decided on the color. Hopefully after making my exterior resemble a patchwork quilt of browns, tans, and greens one of them will stand out and yell, “Pick me damnit!”