Burns My Butt

By now if you are even mildly informed about the goings on outside your picket fence you have heard about the Shawnee Mission teenager who Tweeted negative remarks last week about the Kansas Governor. The more I heard the reports the more I wished I could tell that girl to tell all those men to go to hell. That republic D-bag does not deserve any form of apology. If anything I would have offered this; 

“Dear Gov’nor (said in a British accent of course to make it more fun), 

I’m SO sorry you blow.
I’m SO sorry your self-serving antics make you a piss poor leader.

I’m ever so sorry you and your staff apparently have nothing better to do than monitor Twitter accounts and harass teenagers possessing an opinion. Maybe you would like to take our homes and banish us all to poverty? Oh wait… you’ve already done that. My bad. 

By the way, ever hear of a little thing called the first amendment? Maybe you should have read the constitution before deciding to run for office.  Not to worry; you won’t need to be concerned with all that silly civil rights mumbo-jumbo when you are super-sizing orders at the drive-thru window at Wendy’s in 2014. Gawd, I hope you don’t suck at that because I really like their fries!”

Then I’d sign it, 

“Sincerely,

A voting female Democrat (aka – your worst nightmare)”

Lazy Holiday

This was the first Thanksgiving I’ve ever spent without my girls and surprisingly enough I was not a complete boo-hooing sniffling mess. They went with their dad for a few days while Dan and I went to Western Kansas and then we met back home to spend the rest of the weekend with my family. Mom came and stayed with us over the weekend and together we introduced Sydie to my all-time favorite game Chinese Checkers or as we like to call it “Hop Ching!” I still have the wooden board that belonged to my great-grandmother. Grandpa and I use to spend countless hours playing so eventually I got to where I had a pretty solid strategy.  I love that Syd likes playing and we have already played several games since Saturday. (Four rounds just last night before she finally decided she was tired and went to bed). I’m pretty sure her motivation is to be able to sufficiently out-wit me with her mad hop skills. I don’t doubt for a minute that she will too. 

So, unfortunately no crazy black Friday stories or weird family happenings to relay. I didn’t even take a single picture! Thanksgiving was wonderfully laid back just the way I like it. Most of my holiday shopping is complete and for now at least, life is pleasantly boring. Not a good deal for blogging but a damn good one for my peace of mind!  

Fixin' To Hibernate

I don’t know a lot of people who get excited about composting or building a water collection barrel but I do. If I could install big ol’ solar panels on my roof or have my very own mini windmill farm I’d do that too. So when my energy company installed Smart meters that allow me to go online and check my energy usage down to the hour, I was ecstatic at the potential of this new gadget! 

Okay so a borderline OCD person who hates being cold gets a smart meter (Yes borderline, stop judging me), so what do you think happens next, hmm…? Well, I have become absolutely consumed with insulating my home. Last winter I suffered with drafty windows and doors so I took steps this year to nip that in the bud. I have made so many trips to Home Depot that I think I have contributed to the demise of Lowe’s. Light switch panels and outlets have been insulated. Weathering stripping has been added to old windows. Seals around doors have been replaced, and in some cases beefed up, the wood pile is stocked and the screen porch is in the process of getting insulated as well. 

It is just a shame that there isn’t some way to use leaves to heat your home or some other viable function. If there were maybe I wouldn’t complain about cleaning them up every dang weekend, but I doubt it. I really, REALLY  hate leaves. Sydney got excited on my behalf yesterday when she saw a huge grey squirrel run down the tree, take a single leaf out of our yard and jump the fence. “Hey mom, there’s one less leaf for you to mow!” All I know is those leaves better make my garden soil top notch next spring. My neighbor down the street also has big mature trees and he must have had close to 25 composting bags full of leaves lined down his drive and along the curb to be picked up this morning. The kicker is there are still more to fall so he isn’t done either and that makes me feel a little better. Fortunately we don’t use compost bags very often because I have a 90 gallon trash cart, a ladder and a man who wears a size 12 shoe. You figure it out.

Girl's Weekend

What do you get when you take a long weekend, add some shopping, mix in a comedy club with a dirty hypnotist, and stir in eight ladies intent on tearin’ up the town? A stomach-ache from laughing your ass off, that’s what.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the conversation on the drive down included the revelation ‘Hey, none of these people are ever going to see us again so what do we have to lose?’ 

No, it was all good. We all rode the hotel shuttle to Zona Rosa, had some appetizers and drinks and then hit the Sandman The Hypnotist show at The Improv. I’m not sure which was better; the show or the cab ride back to the hotel with Frank the driver. He came to pick us up in a black van and right away someone yells, “Hey Frank! Is this the cash cab?”  

My friend Laura and I drove back to my house and stayed there so we could kinda do our own thing on Saturday. We drank two pots of coffee in our jammies while solving all the world’s problems and catching up. Then we went to Mass Street to have lunch at Pickleman’s and then discovered some great quirky things in a few of the shops. I absolutely love the Esty like store downtown called “Made.” From the name you can gather that everything inside is hand-crafted and I had to fight hard to keep from buying a crocheted cup cozy that read “One Crazy Mofo.” (Dang it… I’m still kicking myself for not getting it. I may have to go back). 

We ran over to The Legend’s and hit some more stores and met the other girls briefly. We didn’t find anything spectacular and more importantly nothing that fit the detail documented Christmas Lists, complete with pictures that I was given. It was made very clear that I am NOT authorized to vary from the list. Sir, yes Sir!

Laura and I had dinner at the Bird Dog in the Oread while sitting next to a table of what Sorority Hell must be like; six hair and teeth excessively loud girls who obviously had been drinking all afternoon. We climbed the stairs to the 9^th Floor Nest so she could experience the breath-taking view enhanced by the light from a full moon. We drove down Memorial Drive past the Campanile and got goose bumps when we discovered pairs of soldiers standing at attention in the dark along the way. We debated on whether it was proper or not to take their picture but then agreed to just commit the images to memory. God Bless our Soldiers. 

Thank you girls! This weekend exactly the mental health break I needed and I am looking forward to a repeat performance next year. 

I've been writing, venting, expressing, and discovering myself with this blog for several years now. I don't write for anyone but myself but my thoughts and experiences are read religiously by several of my friends, my family members, AND those 'Nosey Nelly's' who just want to find out some good ol' dirt on me. Well I'd like to clarify a few things so Nelly, it's your lucky day.

I have been best friends with the father of my children since I was 14 years old. We have had some off the wall wonderful years as well as a lot of tragedy and heartache. I was his caretaker through 30 plus surgeries with the help from his wonderful parents who I still love very much and always will. Sometimes two people just have to face the fact that they make better friends than a married couple. Making that decision was the hardest thing we've ever had to do and honestly yes, I was the one who started the conversation.... three years ago. Neither of us wanted a roommate and that is exactly what we had become. We agreed that whatever happened our girls would not suffer.

Both of us wanted a fresh start and when I got transferred it worked out perfectly because he wanted to go back to school. Lawrence offered his degree and he would still be available for the girls. He literally lives two minutes away from us and with the exception of every other weekend, the girls see him every single day. 

I respect this man and what he has been through. It breaks my heart that he has had to suffer and continues to have health issues. I have made it clear I do not want any kind of formal child support. He offers to pay for the girls' school expenses or whatever else they need and I am good with that. I make my own money; I don't take his. Yes I bought a house. He wanted the girls to have a home and since we sold two businesses and our house in Clay I was able to do so. I don't know if you have heard but the housing market is in the toilet and buyers can get a great deal on a house right now. That was a no-brainer. I make all the payments, I pay for all the improvements, I do all the maintenance.... everything and it sucks royally. He loves that because he is no longer on the receiving end of my honey-do lists.

Our situation is not the norm but you know what? It works for us. We still look out for each other, we talk almost every day, we don't fight, and our children are happy. They love Lawrence and they love their parents. Go figure.

Karma is a powerful thing and she's always looking for an ass to bite.

Images from October

Mon crayon est impertinent! 

(One of the few phrases from French class I can remember).

I had no idea crayons were so SASSY! 

 

 

Gentry made a new friend. The Rat Lady on the Baldwin Night Train of Terror.

Which is more powerful?

Blanket Ninja?



Or the Cardboard Ninja?