Family reunions were something that I always dreaded growing up. The thought of spending a summer afternoon in a cold church basement eating mystery food prepared gawd knows where and making awkward chit-chat with old people I only saw once a year was NOT my idea of a good time. I was thankful once I got to high school and could drive so I could at least leave early. Even now mom talks about cousin so-and-so and I have no idea who she is talking about. I know that’s my own fault for being so disconnected. I also know that’s why I don’t have a close relationship with either side of my family now. I have a hard time relating to my friends who do have that. It seems very foreign. Why would you want all those people causing you grief because from what I’ve experienced, that’s essentially what they do. 

I am a big supporter of adopting but there is something about being adopted that makes you feel different. My parents adopted me when I was three days old. I was lucky; my sister and I were both lucky. As a kid it was hard sometimes not knowing where I fit in the family tree. I struggled with feeling like an outcast. Some feelings don’t subside as you get older. There seems to be something about that blood connection that trumps everything else. 

I have very little of my grandma’s things even though I grew up a mile from her. Now that gram is moving from her house her daughters are gathering her knick-knacks as keepsakes for their kids. Since my mom is not ‘blood’ and dad is gone I doubt my sister and I will even be a passing thought. I was told the other day after venting about the situation, “What did you expect? You and your sister have never mattered because you’re adopted. Now that your dad is gone they don’t owe you anything.” It’s true. Now that dad is gone his sisters no longer include my mom in their “sister weekends.” She gets her feelings hurt easily so she just says “whatever” and goes on. 

Still…., truth hurts and if you let them, families can hurt you more. My kids, Blake, and baby W will never get that from me.  Never. It’s in writing.