I was forced to learn a difficult parenting lesson this past weekend and it has taken me four days to figure out how to deal with my revised role as a parent/evil dictator. To my friends with smaller children; listen up because your time is coming. No matter how much you love and trust your child, discount nothing. The older they get the sneaker they get and they will play you. I am all for using the fear of God if it keeps my kids from making a bad decision.

•  Make it clear to your child that they are always being watched and their actions will get back to you. By the time they discover this is a half-truth it won’t be a big deal.
• Make a point to occasionally drive by to check up on them when they say they are going to the park or wherever to meet friends. Make sure they are where and with who they say they are.

I am such a Facebook-hater that my first instinct is to advocate for telling them Facebook is the devil. If you have the balls to do that, DO IT! You'll end up getting a lot more of your kid's time and you won't have to worry about online freaks and bad influence friends.

• Don't let them have a facebook page without you as the “gate keeper” and make sure that you have the password to their email address. On the flip side, make a point of checking these things on a regular basis, especially their “deleted” file otherwise it’s a moot point.

For a couple years now my kids have had cell phones. My logic was when their activities are over they need a way to let me know they need picked up. It is also a way for me to check up on them. The mistake I made was letting them have privacy.

• Never give your child complete privacy!

I never checked their messages, never had a reason to. BIG mistake people! Let me tell you that I am now getting into the habit of not only checking to see who they are texting, and what they are texting but they are no longer allowed to just carry the phone at all times. It is a utensil, not an accessory. At night all phones are docked in a central location to charge and not in their rooms. I can’t emphasize enough how beneficial you will find this habit. I made this suggestion last year and was met with such angry opposition that I dropped it. I should have just played the bad guy and did it anyway.


The lesson I learned this past week is this; I am my children’s guardian and protector first and their friend second; not the other way around.