It was only 64 degrees at 5:00am this morning. I had slept with the window open so cool air filled the room. I argued with myself as to whether or not to stay in bed and sleep for another hour and a half, knowing a 6:00pm workout would be pushing it, or to quit being a wussy and just do it!

This summer my sister and Blake go almost always to the morning workout. Blake is finally at that age where he is starting to have practices and games in the evenings. He still rides in the jogging stroller; usually accompanied by a blanket and snacks. He’s pretty grouchy until about mid-way through our cals when he starts laughing at us or chanting something random like, “Squish the beetle. Squish the beetle. Squish the beetle.“  If his dad comes he will usually run with him but not so much when he’s with mom. My sister loves the days when she has arms!

This morning while the men ran laps the women got into groups according to age and stood on the football field. We had to run 10 yards, do one push-up, run back 10 yards do two push-ups, etc., etc., until we were up to 10 push-ups. THEN we had to do the same thing doing bent knee sit-ups counting down from 15 to 5. Bon and I were in the same age group and we were keeping pace with each other… until the dreaded sit-ups. I’m drawing you this mental picture because what happened next will haunt me for a really long time not to mention that my sister won’t allow it to be forgotten I’m certain.

I had done the 15 sit-ups, ran back 10 yards and started to do 10 more when “it” happened. I can’t even type the word. There was noise of a rather substantial volume that escaped by body beyond my control and there was absolutely nowhere I could hide. I immediately looked at my sister and said “Dude!” But there was no passing the blame; she had already started to giggle and said, “Niiiiice.” (typical Bon response). Then everyone around us started giggling and I lost it. A good portion of our line had heard me fart! I should have owned it, jumped up and yelled, “Yeah that’s right biotches, I farted!” Except that I was utterly and completely mortified. I don’t even know how many sit-ups I did after that because all we could do was lay there on the field and laugh. Oh my gaaawd! I’m the old lady now who passes loud gas while working out! I’m seriously thinking I will switch up to the next age group because I’m sure that’s a common and acceptable occurrence with them. The other thing is that practically every woman there had a pony-tail so hopefully no one will remember what I look like. I really think this unfortunate “turd horn” (a Gentry phrase) was a signal from the universe that I should have slept that extra hour. Being stressed about getting a work out in tonight would have sucked but at least I’d still have my pride.